Refocus

In college we are learning not only about Emerson, and Dickinson we are learning who we are. We are learning who we want to be, and learning what we want to do with our lives. Usually that's quite a daunting task. But as I'm learning it all I think it's time to refocus; to list what I want and what I know I don't want (which can be just as important as listing what I want). That way when someone says "what are you doing after your out of school?" I will have some sort of answer. And more importantly I will be able to set small goals to achieve that will build me in to the person I want to be one day. So..


What I know I do NOT want to do with my life
1) I do not want to be a math major
2) I do not want to go into the medical field
3) I do not want to be a girly girl
4) I no longer want to be a princess.... unless I find a prince, or just a frog in need of a smooch (but not really because..)
5) I do not want to get married (this is because...)
6) I do not want to get divorced (which is because....)
7) I don't want to to ruin a kids life because of my life.  (so I don't want to have kids)
8) I do not want a "career" so to speak
9) I do not want to be complacent. ever. with anything.
10) I do not want to be dependent on any worldly thing or person

and that will bring me to...

What do I know I want to do with my life

1) I want to travel.. a lot

2) I want to have a job to requires me to travel

3) I want to study abroad

4) I want to get a degree 

5) I want to do missions

6) I want to write a book

7) I want to learn (everything I can)

8) I want to learn about and get to know people

9) I want to teach people

10) I want to inspire people.. or more I want God to inspire them through me.

So this is what I'm starting with. It will change many times. But it's a start. 

being different

     Today in American Lit we studied Emily Dickinson. We discussed her life and how she lived her life. We talked about how she didn't get married and didn't conform to organized religion. And also about how everyone thought she was so weird. She's one of the most highly acclaimed American poets. and everyone thought she was a freak. When you think about it, every significant figure in history was viewed this way. Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, Galileo, Da Vinci, Columbus, Einstein, Poe, Dickinson, Darwin, Paul, King David, Jesus (and every other respected person from the bible). That's only naming a few. All of these people were criticized and ostracized for being different. But they all continued to do what they saw fit, or what God saw fit. Now when we look back into history we study these people that society hated. We admire them and try to understand them. We strive to be like them. But not really.
       You see,in present day we believe in and understand what Einstein studied and what Dickinson wrote and what every other significant person did, so we try to achieve their level of expertise. That is what society values. But when they were studying and writing they were not trying to achieve someone else's goals or study someone else's work, like we study theirs. They were not trying to  conform to societies approved goals. They were watching, and studying, and observing, and researching, and testing, and painting, and writing, and thinking, and learning. All for themselves, all about their own interests. And they didn't care about what anyone thought about it. So when we study what society believes what are we really gaining?  Shouldn't we 'march to the beat of our own drum' so to speak. To get ahead in society, shouldn't we really be renouncing society? Just like every other significant person?
       This concept is even more significant for christians. Romans 12:2 says "do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world..." and throughout the bible everything our society believes in is discouraged. "you cannot serve both God and money" (matt 6:24). "but many who are last will be first and many who are first will be last" (matt 19:30). "when I am weak then I am strong" (2 cor 12:19). "... better to be poor than a liar"(proverbs 19:22). "love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you" (matt 5:44).  All of these are against societies views. All of these things Jesus commanded for us. But we're afraid to do these things because we're afraid to be criticized. But in matt 5:10 it says "blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." So even if by some chance we are persecuted, or simply criticized, for believing in Jesus and doing what he commands then we will be blessed for it. Jesus was one of the most hated men of his time, and probably still holds that status, and we're supposed to be just like him. So why are we still conforming to what the world wants?
      Biblically we should not conform to the world even if we get criticized. We will be blessed for it. And in society and history we shouldn't conform to society's goals because not a single person recognized in history was remembered for blending in well. So why are we trying so hard to fit in? Why do women starve themselves, and men injure themselves? Why do business people steal and cheat? Why to politicians lie? Why do people go into debt? Why do people do a millions awful things that they are not comfortable with all to conform to the world? Conforming will never bring a single person glory and more importantly it will never bring glory to God. We need  to renounce everything society tells us in order to do anything of value. Do you think Paul wrote half of the new testament by conforming? He went to Jail!  Do you think Columbus discovered America because he was a conformer? It took his whole life to get there. And Dickinson, she never had a husband or friends, and she was never even published in her lifetime. But just look at her poetry. When King David defeated Goliath, was he conforming? All of his brothers were terrified of the giant, along with the rest of the army who told David not to fight goliath. And David even won by casting off all the army's suggested armor and weapons and using a sling shot. And Jesus? How about him? He was brutally beaten and murdered and crucified because he was not a conformer. and in that process he saved us from our sins. His persecution was the biggest victory in the entire world. And we are afraid to be criticized for being different?
     I think thats the greatest downfall of people. We are afraid. We are afraid of criticism. We are afraid of persecution. We are afraid to deviate. We are afraid to change. We are afraid to think. We are afraid to believe.

blog fail

Seeing as how I've been playing with the idea of writing as a profession and declaring english and journalism as my majors I've decided to be a much better blogger. Ive been a blog failure lately. and so I'm to post at least 2 blogs a week... baby steps, baby steps. and you can hold me to that! haha. but don't be brutal. so, with out further ado, let the blogger commence!